1. When in a bath tub. You don’t want to get your phone too wet, drop it into the tub incase the phone slips! Unless it’s water proof and the sender knows it..
2. When you have too many things on hand. For e.g. you checked your phone for messages and the person at the bill counter hands you your shopping bags. You’ve gotta put that phone away immediately or face the wrath of the people waiting impatiently behind you. Rule no1 when in a queue: Do what you’re in the queue for first, everything else can wait or else it takes no time for a queue to become a mob.
3. When you are making out with your GF/BF. E.g. you are expecting an important message from home and your significant other’s hormones decide to go wild. You’ve gotta respect that and hence out of courtesy (if you still remember that you’ve left your whatsapp on), not reply to whoever messaged you earlier.
4. While sitting at the breakfast/lunch/dinner table with fly. Just because it’s rude. You have gone ahead anyway and disrespected your family values by checking your phone at the table, it’s advisable not to go further and start sliding your fingers across the screen to reply on whatsapp.
5. Whilst sitting right under your teacher’s/professor’s nose in the first bench at the classroom. You don’t want your phone to get confiscated. Not to mention, your teacher might just read your messages even.
6. Its rude to check your phone while you’re on a date anyway, but if its matter of urgency, it’s OK to check at fewer intervals. But if you chat with people in front of your date, don’t be surprised if your date goes downhill or starts eyeing the hot guy at the bar while you’ve been busy and walks out on you, straight towards that guy she’s been eyeing all evening.
8. While you’re waiting for your bride-to-be at the altar. While your bride is getting ready to look her best for you and you’re waiting at the altar for her, you might end up checking your phone and its OK not to reply back to the hundred whatsapp messages that you’ve received from well-wishers wishing you on your big day! She wants to see the look on your face when you first see her in that gown consider it a new old wives take: it’s bad luck to ignore your bride when she steps on the Isle in her gown.
9. While you’re preparing for your exams ie an hour or 30 minutes before entering your exam hall. Your school/college classmates are going to post topics saying that blah blah is going to be asked in today’s exam. And if you haven’t covered that topic, it’s going to either blank you out or add unnecessary pressure, which you don’t need before appearing for your exam. Exams themselves are stressful enough.
10. When you’re really upset with the person who whatsapp’d you and you want to enforce the ‘silent-treatment’ to that person. Nuf said!
11. When the person who messaged you is your stalker and messages you 24/7 or or the lady next door who’s always in crisis and keeps needing your help. (Well, you should’ve blocked this person in the first place.) But if its someone who you can’t block for eg. You’re crazy cousin, then you don’t reply either.
13. When it’s a message from you’re ex with whom things didn’t really end well with. Just remember you are exes for a reason. Muster up the rage and send her stinker once you have some good material to shut her up for a good amount of time.
14. When it’s a message from your parents, telling you to do something you’re not thrilled about doing. #RebelliousChild. Be careful though if your daddy is Archie from rocknrolla you might want to avoid an Archie Slap when you see him next.
15. You’re meeting your friend and he/she asks you where you are and you’re literally right infront/behind them. Who needs dumb friends anyway right? And if they are blind they won’t see the blue ticks either. #InsensitiveButTrue
16. When you’re spending your anniversary/child’s birthdays or your own birthday or any other similar event, you can always reply back later. Coz it’s your b’day shawty and we all want you to live a little.
17. When someone that you’ve been crushing on for a while, finally makes a move and asks you out. Then you panic and call ur bestie first it’s what any sane person would do. And remember: treat them mean keep them keen.
18. Family reunions have enough drama on their own. We don’t need to start something by ‘ignoring them’ by replying to our messages. Aunt Sheila is not going to be any less of a bi*ch if you ignore her.
20. While you’re buying that prom/wedding dress or your marriage suit, you don’t want to be interrupted or distracted by conversing with someone over the app. Coz a bridzilla’s got to do what a bridzilla’s got to do!
30. While driving/riding a car/bike. You don’t want to get into an accident coz then you will piss more people off by dying like that. Ever heard someone say oh he was not stupid for texting while driving…no sympathy for dying like that bro..
33. It also depends on the message itself, if its urgent or just requires a judgement call. That MoFo can wait..you just sip your martini in peace and watch the sunset. Good times don’t come easy neither does good alcohol.